How Your Brain Filters Reality: The Reticular Activating System (RAS)
Your Reticular Activating System (RAS) is your brain’s built-in filter, helping you manage the overwhelming amount of information you encounter every second. It decides what’s important and brings it into your conscious awareness. The key takeaway? Your RAS prioritizes whatever you focus on—whether that’s stress and exhaustion or gratitude and success.
Ever noticed how when you're thinking about a promotion, you suddenly see more articles about career growth? Or how when you're expecting a baby, you start spotting strollers and baby gear everywhere? That’s your RAS at work. It highlights patterns and reinforces your current beliefs and expectations.
As a working mom balancing career growth and parenting, your mental load is already heavy. The good news? You can train your RAS to filter for success, fulfillment, and balance—rather than burnout and overwhelm.
How RAS Can Help You Grow in Your Career and Thrive as a Working Mom
After my wedding, life felt strangely stable. My family was healthy, my career was progressing, and there were no immediate crises. Yet instead of enjoying this season, I found myself bracing for the next disaster. Something must be about to go wrong. That single thought triggered a low-grade anxiety—because my RAS started scanning for signs of trouble.
After learning about the RAS in a Grand coaching session, I decided to shift my focus. Instead of preparing for worst-case scenarios, I started telling myself, These are the good days. Almost immediately, my brain began collecting proof to support this belief: my child’s laughter at bedtime, the deep satisfaction of a completed work project, the support from my network of fellow working moms. My circumstances hadn’t changed—only my focus had. And that changed everything.
By intentionally training my RAS, I found that:
- My career confidence grew—I saw more opportunities to lead, mentor, and step into higher roles.
- Mom guilt lessened—I focused on the moments of joy and connection with my daughter rather than what I wasn’t doing perfectly.
- Work-life balance became more achievable and felt like it was integrated—I noticed supportive colleagues, flexible work solutions, and small wins each day.
Your Coaching Exercise: Train Your RAS for Career Growth and Work-Life Balance
For the next week, try this practical neuroscience-based coaching exercise:
- Choose a saying that aligns with the mindset you want to cultivate. Examples:
- I am excelling in my career and thriving as a mother.
- Support and opportunities are all around me.
- I am growing, learning, and finding balance each day.
- Notice and write down three moments each day that reinforce this belief.
- Reflect at the end of the week: How did shifting your focus impact your experience? What patterns emerged?
For an even greater impact, invite a colleague or fellow mom to do this exercise with you.
The Science of Positive Focus: Why This Works
Neuroscience research supports the idea that what we focus on grows. Studies in neuroplasticity show that repeated thoughts and behaviors physically reshape our brains, strengthening the neural pathways that support them. By consciously directing our RAS, we can create a feedback loop that makes career growth, work-life balance, and fulfillment feel more natural and achievable.
This approach is particularly powerful for working mothers who often feel stretched between their ambitions and their families. Instead of seeing career and parenting as competing forces, RAS training helps highlight moments of harmony—whether it’s a productive work meeting or a small but meaningful interaction with your child.
Your RAS is always working—make sure it’s working in your favor. What will you train it to see this week?
